Please Recycle
by 2shy the Shippy
Summary: Elliot learns the importance of recycling. You just never know what good may come from it. EO


Olivia caught her breath as she rang Elliot's doorbell.

"El, there is something that I need to tell you. This is something that you need to know. Something that I kept to myself for reasons that I hope you'll understand." Olivia paced back and forth while she was thinking. "What is taking him so long?" She asked herself out loud.

'_Oh yeah, I forgot that his doorbell needs to be fixed.' _Olivia thought to herself as she pulled out the keys to Elliot apartment. After she opened the main door Olivia ran upstairs to Elliot's apartment.

"I should knock, shouldn't I?" Olivia asked herself, as she was about to put the key into the hole. "Hell, no. I've waited too long to tell him this and it is not going to wait any longer."

And she didn't, but when she walked into his bedroom the words that she has never spoken had to stay forever in her heart.

'_Well, I was waiting, but he sure wasn't…or did he ever?'_

L&O: SVU

"Elliot, you're here." Olivia said in amazement as Elliot sat down beside her.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Elliot asked. Liv shrugged, and then looked out the window.

"It's just that you were on a case, that's all." Olivia picked up a cup of water and began to drink.

"And you thought that you weren't important enough to visit?" The room got quiet all of the sudden.

"No, I just know that the case is more important. You can visit me anytime when you're not working, El. Besides, I'll be out the hospital in no time. And you know what that means."

"That you should stay home and rest." Olivia raised an eyebrow. " Liv, I know that neither one of us really knows what vacation means, but you were hurt and you should rest." He squeezed her arm lightly.

"Elliot, I'll survive. I've been through way worse than this, so why are you worrying so much?" Olivia grabbed his hand and held it in hers.

"Because I'm afraid that you'll leave again…forever this time." Elliot said softly.

"Don't start that again." Olivia moaned.

"Start what again, Liv. Start with the fact that you left without a word. I didn't hear not squat from you when you left. All I got was 'this person service has been disconnected' from some damn voice message! I found out that you were gone from a damn voice message. You didn't have the decency to tell me yourself." Elliot said in a harsh whisper. "First you quit as my partner, and then you just up and leave without a word. Wait you've done that both times, but when you quit as my partner I saw you the next day. This time I didn't. I didn't see you for months."

"Elliot, do you know why I left you the first time?" Olivia folded her arms as looked Elliot in the eyes. He matched her stare with a glare.

"No, you didn't bother to tell me." He said icily.

"I left because I was scared." Emotion started to build in Olivia's voice. "When that guy…" Olivia shook her head, and then bit her lip. "That guy had his gun pointed to your head, I, I, I should have reacted sooner. I was too busy negotiating and trying to keep anyone from getting hurt. But, we both know that if the sniper didn't shoot someone would have gotten hurt. It would have been you, me, the little girl, or maybe even all of us!"

"Liv…"

"No, Elliot, you don't understand. In the past, I would have not hesitated to take him out, but I did. And it's not because I can't do my job, well I can, but not around you. If it was anyone else in your position, I would have shot him, but it wasn't. I care for you too much and I was scared to shoot just in case I did something wrong. I didn't want to fuck up and get you killed. Elliot, you have so much. If something were to happen to you…" Olivia ran a hand through her hair. "I couldn't imagine what your kids would have gone through. I couldn't imagine what your family would have gone through." Tears started to flow down Olivia's face.

Elliot took Olivia's hand in his and began to stroke it. He took his other hand to wipe the tears off of her face.

"Liv, I didn't know."

"I wanted to tell you, but everything was happening so fast. If you think that I made that decision to stop being your partner in a day, you are wrong. It's been a thought that I had been contemplating for a while and it often kept me up at night. When that day happened, I knew that I had to make that thought reality." For the first time in months, Elliot felt as if he and Olivia were connecting. As if they were getting back into the grove of things.

"What about the second time?" As much as he didn't want to ruin the moment, Elliot had to know.

"My decision had nothing to do with you, me, or SVU. It had everything to do with that girl and what had happened to HER. There really wasn't much time for decision. I chose to go because I wanted to somehow find justice for HER and try a different kind of crime at the same time, you know. Going undercover was nice, but I'm a SVU kind of girl at heart." Olivia smiled sand looked down at their hands. "I was getting homesick and ultimately gave myself away to the police. But, I solved a case and, besides, they had me with the wrong group." A small laugh escaped her throat and Elliot smiled.

"I never thought about it that way." Elliot said referring to her reasons for doing what she did.

"You never do."

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but, Elliot, we have to go." Dani said as she looked at Olivia and Elliot's hands and their closeness. Olivia saw her face and cleverly slipped her hand from Elliot without notice and slightly scooted from him, but not by much, just enough for comfort. The last thing Olivia wanted was for another one of Elliot's intimate partners to be jealous of her. She may have known him first, but Dani had him. It was only fair that she respected the unwritten rules even though Elliot wasn't.

"Ok, well, it was nice to see that you are doing well, Liv." Elliot reluctantly pulled away as Dani entered. "I'll visit you later on to see if you are still doing well."

"Alright, Dad." Elliot playfully waved her off with a hand, and then began to lead Dani out. He turned back around and looked at Olivia.

"_She knows."_ Elliot thought to himself. _"But, how?" _For some reason, he could hear Liv saying, "Call it women's intuition." But, words never escaped her mouth.

"You know I care for you, Liv. I'm just looking out for your well-being."

"Just recycle." Olivia said as Elliot stared at her strangely, but left.

L&O: SVU

Olivia and Elliot sat and did stakeout on a woman named Cecilia Goodman's apartment. Dani wasn't with Elliot because she was doing case with Munch.

"What did you mean by recycle?" Elliot asked out of the blue.

"Huh?" Olivia asked just before she sipped her coffee.

"I had told you that I cared or you, and then you said 'just recycle'. Does that even mean anything or were you just saying it? But, how does recycling have any relevance to how much I care for you?" The question had been getting at Elliot for a while.

"So… you're saying that recycling doesn't have anything to do with how much you care for me?"

"I don't know, maybe. It's just that I don't see how those two connect."

"Well, they do. Just because you don't see the meaning behind it doesn't mean that anything. I just haven't told you yet." Olivia defended. "You don't know that you just insulted me saying that what I said was meaningless."

"It wasn't on purpose." Elliot defended himself.

"You know, how you always each your kids not to jump conclusions?" He eyes looked at the building while she talked to Elliot.

"Yeah."

Well, this is just like that."

"How about you tell me what you mean by recycle, so I can get what you meant when you said that." Elliot could only play games for so long or so he thought.

"You are a smart man, you can figure it out." Irritation came on Elliot's face immediately. "Or not…did I ever tell you why I love rain so much?"

"I didn't know that you liked rain and how does this have anything to do with recycling?" Elliot shifted in his seat, so that he could get comfortable.

"Rain is old, but new. The same water has been here for billions of years and yet it's always goes and beneficial to someone or something. It recycles and cleanses itself over and over and over and the cycle never ever stops. It doesn't matter how many times it's been used or how. We always need water someway or somehow. In the past, I was used to feeling used and mistreated, but in the end, I would get recycled. I may be old or used, but I would always have a rebirth somehow. That's why I love being a police officer and working for SVU. I can help the victims feel new somehow…I can help them start over somehow. If I can recycle them, then I could make a difference. Maybe they could have a second chance, instead of being thrown away. Instead of polluting the earth, they could be of some help. If they can get through the dramatic experience, then they could help others. If not, they cause more trouble then needed." Some light was strain to shine on what Olivia was trying to say. "People always used me, and then threw me away. They always left. Elliot, if you are going to leave me in anyway, then please recycle."

They dropped the conversation after that.

Somewhere in the back of Elliot's mind, he always knew that Olivia felt the same as he did. Even before his marriage was beginning to fail, he knew that Liv was in love with him. If someone had told him to make a choice, Elliot would have easily chosen his wife a thousand times over. Not because he was in love with her, which he was, but what kind of man would he be if he left. He and Kathy had been married for years back then and had four kids. And to top it all off, Kathy already had insecurities about him being partnered with Liv. Falling in love with Liv had been and still is a pleasant surprise. She complimented him in ways that had been unimaginable and that was just in a mental sense. For him to have her physical would be something extraordinary.

No, Elliot was talking about sex, but making love. He has never been particularly fond of sex. It was meaningless and it didn't feed his sexual drive. In a way, this statement was insulting Dani, but it wasn't. He didn't have sex with her, but he sure as hell wasn't making love to her. You could say fucking maybe. Elliot didn't like the word sex, it was weak and stood for nothing. Love was filled with passion and emotion from the heart. Fucking was filled with passion and lust. Fucking was uncontrollable, but love was deadly. You know that you can't control love from the beginning, but you chose to trust the person you made love with. Unlike fucking, where things just happen. He trusted Dani, but not in the sense where he could lose all control. Control was something Elliot had most if not all of the time. Dani could never understand him like Liv. She could never put her selfishness or naïveté behind. Dani may have lost what was most important to her, but she never experience what Liv did. Elliot didn't even think she could survive something like that.

Liv has and she has become a great and influential person. That's another reason why he loved and respected her. They were those moments that he considered throwing his marriage away just for one night with Olivia, but the look on her face told him not to. The look on her face said, as much as she wanted to, she couldn't. Olivia respected marriage and what it stood for. She respected relationships and she despised cheating.

He loved her for it. He loved that she kept him honest. She didn't expect happiness and he needed to change that.

"Elliot!" Olivia said loudly in his ear.

"Hmm?" He turned towards her while still kind of stuck in thought.

"Fin and Much have come to relieve us." Liv started up the car. "Where do you want me to drop you off?"

"The precinct is fine." Elliot mumbled.

The drive for was quiet, except for the last few minutes when Olivia turned on the radio. She dropped him off and went in the precinct herself.

Elliot pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number he has come to memorize by now.Since Much was with Fin there was a chance that Dani was free.

"Hey, Dani, we need to talk."

L&O: SVU

It was raining. Dogs and cats didn't even begin to explain it. It rained in Olivia's heart, Elliot's heart, and especially Dani's heart. She knew the truth from the beginning, but that's why people make up lies. The truth is usually unbearable to face.

"What took you so long?" Olivia asked as she took the bottled of water Elliot bought her. Elliot turned the bottle and pointed at something.

"Recycled 5." She read aloud. "Elliot?"

"I'm not going to throw you away. You will always be new and as of use to me. Liv, you keep me grounded. These last few months I've been trying to find something real and solid, not transparent. All this time I've had it. Love is real and transparent. Just because I can't see it, doesn't mean that I don't feel it. I feel it and I feel you." Elliot caressed Olivia's face, and then went in to kiss her. He now understood the term simple, but elegant. Their fate had been sealed with the simplest of kisses.

"What about, Dani?" Olivia tried to pull away slightly, but Elliot wouldn't let her.

"She was real, but I couldn't feel her. I couldn't feel it, but don't worry…I recycled her." Olivia laughed, and then drank her water.

Tonight she was being cleaned, he was being cleaned, and they were being cleaned. They may have been used, but they can still be recycled and be of use. Everything was old, but new. That's how everything is when you recycle it.

THE END

A/N: This is my very first L&O fic, so be gentle. I thought I was the only one who didn't like Dani, until I started reading the fics here. I really can't stand her and I wish that she would leave, but Dick Wolf has a plan or so he says. Dani is just really whiny and confused. One minute she a tough cop, then soft and fragile, then plays by the rules, or sympathetic. Ugh, can she make up her mind! Stick to one thing and do it. I was inspired to do this fic because Dick Wolf has pissed me off truly. He said Olivia would be back in October, not make a guest appearance. He intentionally misled us to believe that she would really be back. The story line better be as good as he says.

And what's with this 'romance' between Elliot and that thing. LOL. Yes, I've read that story. Personally, I would love to bash Dani in words and in fiction, but enough people already do that. So, I decided to send her about her way.

Sorry, if I misused any words or confused you guys in any way. I've had a lot of stories on the back burner, but this one came to life because we're not getting enough of EO. Feedback appreciated. I would love to know what you all think.


End file.
